In modern society, abuse in marriage is a serious issue that affects a lot of couples.
Many people often ask, “what should a person do to survive this? Where can they go for support? and what verses in the Bible address abuse in marriage?.”Although dealing with abuse can be extremely tough, there are things you can do to make it easier.
The Bible gives quite clear guidelines regarding dealing with marriage abuse. Anyone who is in an abusive relationship can benefit from this. So here are Bible verses about abuse in marriage
Bible Verses about Abuse in Marriage
Colossians 3:19 – Men must show unselfish, sacrificial love to their wives.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Colossians 3:19 (ESV)
Paul teaches husbands to show care, concern, and gentleness to their wives.
Men must show unselfish, sacrificial love to their wives; at the same time, there is no room to be abusive or unfair.
Husbands should be kind to their spouses in the same way that Christ loved the Church and gave His life for it (Ephesians 5:25). He instructs men not to irritate or dominate their women but rather to care for them and treat them with kindness.
1 Peter 3:7 – God neglects those that abuse their spouses.
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV)
God responds to prayers by His will and purposes. If it goes against His will, it will be neglected. Prayers for men are answered based on how they treat their wives. Your prayers will be hampered if you insult her and neglect to regard her as a valuable heir (partner) in this life.
The only way to reverse this is for her husband to be a Godly man who loves her like Christ loves the Church (Ephesians 5:25).
This verse does not state that wives are weaker in any way, and husbands must honor and care for their wives “as” they would keep or watch for something more fragile than themselves.
The point is simply that husbands should respect their wives like protectors. Furthermore, husbands are instructed to live “with knowledge” with their spouses, and this could imply that they better understand who their wives are so that no room will be created for abuse.
Proverbs 22:10 – Keep away from those that disrespect you and your ways.
Drive out a scoffer, and strife will go out, and quarreling and abuse will cease.
Proverbs 22:10 (ESV)
Some people are unworthy of friends, family, Church, or employment, and they are scoffers or scorners and should be discarded for causing so many problems with their arrogant resistance.
Arguments, strife, and shame will cease if these individuals are removed. Jesus referred to them as dogs and pigs and firmly prohibited them from receiving beautiful things from His word (Matt 7:6).
Many men marry disdainful women who resent their partner’s authority, mock his views, show disrespect for him in front of the kids, and act scornfully as if they had life sorted out.
The mocker within must be expelled to overcome scorn and establish a healthy relationship with oneself. When you do, turmoil, internal squabbles, and self-inflicted insults disappear. You make peace with yourself and obtain the understanding you need to address other relationships in your life.
Ephesians 5:25 – Marriage is a profound and lifelong devotion.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)
To love a wife like Jesus loved the Church entails giving up your life for her. When we take wedding vows, we first give up ourselves and give ourselves up physically when necessary, but spiritually every day.
This involves; dying to the possibility of separation, washing her with the word, and constantly strengthening the foundation of their union on his knees.
In general, the husband’s love should entail a profound, lifelong devotion and a willingness to make any sacrifices required on her behalf, just as Christ has done for His bride, the Church.
Ephesians 5:28 – The wife is the husband’s very self.
In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
Ephesians 5:28 (ESV)
Christ regards the Church as a portion of His body. As a result, the notion that the husband is “the head of the woman” gives way to the husband’s complete identification with his spouse as “one flesh.”
This love for a wife is synonymous with self-love. The wife is the husband’s very self; he cannot fail to love her as he cannot forget to love himself, following Christ’s example to love her even more than himself.
Proverbs 15:1 – The wise spouse responds gently, and that tenderness puts out the fire.
A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 (ESV)
The kind of explosive anger that eventually escalates to physical conflict is rage or wrath. If a spouse decides to respond to irritation with harsh, nasty comments, they will exacerbate the situation. Short, bitter responses intensify the outraged person’s fury, resulting in even more antagonism.
On the other hand, a calm temper refuses to fight fire with fire. The wise spouse responds gently, and that tenderness puts out the fire. This approach necessitates intelligence, thinking, compassion for the other person, and self-control.
2 Corinthians 6:14 – There are boundaries in marriages.
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)
Those who are in Christ are not the same as those who are not in Christ, and they are not spiritually equivalent and should not be tied together in any binding relationship.
It is critical to understand that Paul is not arguing that believers should never associate with unbelievers. Believers should continue to live and operate in the world, including contact with unbelievers, but there must be limits.
Marriage is one of these boundaries. A believer marrying an unbeliever encourages abuse and differences in reasoning and attitude. The Apostle Paul compared it to light and darkness, which cannot exist in the exact location simultaneously.
Titus 3:2 – Do not tear each other down.
To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.
Titus 3:2 (ESV)
Spouses are not to gossip or tear each other down with words in marriage. Second, they are not to fight but rather to be peaceful and avoid bickering.
They are not to be violent or hot-tempered but rather to be kind to each other and other members of the family.
Malachi 2:16 – Violence in any form is not tolerated in marriage.
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.”
Malachi 2:16 (ESV)
Men are expected to “protect” their women as the protector and provider. A divorce is a spiritual act of violence, and violence in any form is not tolerated in marriage.
God does not condone divorce; instead, He associates it with hatred and unfairness from individuals toward their spouses. Husbands and wives should strive for peace and harmony and do everything possible to avoid divorce or separation.
Matthew 19:4-6 – Marriage is the uniting of two people into one body.
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
Matthew 19:4-6 (ESV)
In this verse, Jesus responds to a query from some Pharisees trying to embarrass Him. His message is that individuals who overlook divorce do not cherish what God has given to them.
Although Jesus demonstrates that God established marriage from the beginning of time, it is more than two individuals coming together to share their lives; it is the uniting of two people into one body.
Marriage is not something humans create for themselves via history and custom; it is something God does. In this way, he brings a man and a woman together. And no mortal human should seek to divide or separate what God has joined.
Bible Verses about Physical Abuse in Marriage
Colossians 3:19 – A well-coordinated union should have the same kind of fairness found in the Trinity.
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Colossians 3:19 (ESV)
In marriage, there is no room in Scripture for abusive or violent spouses. There is no confirmation of male superiority: on the contrary, a well-coordinated union should have the same kind of fairness found in the Trinity (Colossians 1:19; Philippians 2:6).
Women and men are created in God’s image (Genesis 1:27). As a result, husbands are not to irritate their women but rather to treat them with respect and love.
1 Corinthians 7:15 – Marriage is a life-long commitment.
But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace.
1 Corinthians 7:15 (ESV)
Man and wife shall not divorce for any reason other than what Christ allows. Marriage is a Divine institution, a life-long commitment made by God.
Married individuals should work and study to make each other as pleasant and comfortable as possible. Even if the other partner is an unbeliever, we are advised to stay and work hard, through prayer and daily reading of the word, to convert our partner.
The Lord has called us to peace in every situation and relationship, and everything should be done to promote harmony as far as truth and holiness allow.
Ephesians 5:25 – Love your spouses.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:25 (ESV)
The husband’s love should include a robust and everlasting commitment and the readiness to make any sacrifices required on his wife’s behalf.
The marriage union does not end with vows and no action; one must follow that we care, are concerned, submit, and protection.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 – Marriage means oneness.
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV)
The Apostle Paul discusses 15 elements of love to the believers in the Church at Corinth in this classic text. Paul speaks about the numerous aspects of love amongst brothers and sisters in the body of Christ out of genuine concern for the unity of the Church.
The gift of divine love is the purest and best of all of God’s blessings. Family relationships must be marked by love. Husbands, in particular, are to love their wives. But wives must also love their spouses.
Your marriage is a partnership in which you share your ambitions, achievements, and accomplishments with a heart of oneness. Celebrate one another’s achievements and avoid harmful thoughts that can harm your emotional and physical well-being.
Hebrews 13:4 – A husband and wife’s sexual closeness is reserved for that couple alone.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Hebrews 13:4 (ESV)
Another recurrent concept is presented in this verse: the crucial importance of sexual cleanliness. This encompasses marriage fidelity and refraining from sex until a person is married.
Few desires are as universal as lust, so Christians must retain a godly, healthy perspective on sexuality. A husband and wife’s sexual closeness is reserved for that couple alone.
God intended the sexual union to be between a husband and a wife. Period. Only. In Scripture, no other use of sexuality is ever sanctioned.
Abusing or misusing God’s gift of sex is defiling the marriage bed. Because of the holiness of the marriage bed, Christians are urged to avoid sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:15–16; Ephesians 5:3).
Through His sacrificial death on the cross, Jesus purchased the power to recover that purity (2 Corinthians 5:21). No sin, including sexual immorality, is too grave for the atoning death and resurrection power to forgive.
Even though we have soiled the marriage bed in various ways, God can restore sexual purity and holiness if we repent and commit our lives to Him (Psalm 51:7; 1 John 1:7).
Bible Verses about Verbal Abuse in Marriage
Matthew 12:36-37
I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless word they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”
Matthew 12:36-37 (ESV)
Human words cannot manifest reality. Our words, however, do more than transmit information; they impact individuals. Words are instruments that can improve one’s life, but like any tool, they can be abused. There is no such thing as a conflict-free couple; unfortunately, disagreements sometimes escalate to fights.
It is important to note that a horrible argument severely alienates both husband and wife while never resolving the root cause of the problem. As a result, couples develop bitterness, uncontrollable rage, quarreling, abuse, violence, hatred, and divorce, resulting in ruined marriages.
Words are so vital that when we stand before the Lord Jesus Christ, we will give an account of what we say. Our terms should reveal the power of God’s grace and the Holy Spirit’s indwelling in our lives. Couples must be able to discuss significant issues, come up with a solution, and then put that solution into action.
Titus 3:10
As for a person who stirs up division, after warning him once and then twice, have nothing more to do with him,
Titus 3:10 (ESV)
No one sets out to harm their marriage intentionally, and the truth is that we all desire happy, fulfilling marriages.
However, because we live in an evil world that influences us more subtly than we think, many earnest Christian couples fall prey to various perils that harm, break, or destroy their marriages. A partner who is being abused should seek protection as soon as possible.
Children should be protected and removed from the situation if they are present. Separating from an abuser is not against the Bible; it is morally correct to defend oneself and one’s children.
The abuser is responsible for seeking help once separation has been confirmed. Psychological support and legal actions for such an abuser are also appropriate, and such tools are critical to their healing process.
If the abuser shows verified, independent change, the relationship can be restored with extreme caution. Both husband and wife must commit to God’s way and grow in their relationship with Christ.
Psalm 34:18
The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
Psalm 34:18 (ESV)
The phrase “brokenhearted” usually refers to someone who has had a failed relationship or the loss of a loved one. Whatever the source, the agony of a broken heart can be excruciating.
Only a Christian can fully recover because only the Christian has access to the power of the Holy Spirit, who alone “heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds” (Psalm 147:3).
God is always present to console the believer. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our misery,” says the Bible (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
God has never forsaken one of His people who has cried out to Him, and He will not leave the heartbroken Christian who calls out to Him today.
He may not always respond precisely how we would like, but He responds by His perfect will and timing, and His grace is sufficient while we wait. Ultimately, those who belong to Christ yet are experiencing heartbreak must understand that God loves them unconditionally.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Colossians 3:19 (ESV)
Everyone doing what they believe is proper in their own eyes about marriage has had terrible implications for families, as proven by the societal collapse we are watching around us. The husband is not to be harsh with his wife.
The word implies bitterness or sourness, and it breeds anger and injustice. A husband who is harsh with his wife invites God’s wrath, hinders his prayers, gives the devil a foothold, hardens his own heart, and wrecks his conscience.
Paul encouraged Christians to put on their new selves of “compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive.”
If we apply this spiritual disposition to our marriage, the Lord’s commands for a wedding will be joyous rather than burdensome. Because the Lord is full of wisdom and goodness, his design always leads to blessing, and he alone is the Lord.
Ephesians 4:29
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
Ephesians 4:29 (ESV)
Good communication makes you and your spouse feel valued, validated, and understood. Communication is essential for avoiding and resolving misunderstandings and working through challenges to create a brighter future.
Communication in Christian marriages must be filled with love, emotions, and civility. According to biblical marriage advice, if you begin speaking to your partner with kindness, they will ultimately reciprocate the same behavior, fostering excellent communication in a Christian marriage.
Faith provides you and your spouse with a common ground, a gentle and loving basis to construct a marriage that nourishes you while also bringing you closer to God.
Bible Verses about Emotional Abuse in Marriage
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7 (ESV)
Since she is weaker, understanding is the foundation for viewing one’s wife as a vessel to cherish, respect, and care for. Women are undeniably physically more vulnerable than men, but the fall implies that this is due to her being misled by Satan.
Women may be weaker in various ways at times. Still, it does not mean they are less valued (Ephesians 1:6) or do not have equal access to grace (Galatians 3:28). Rather, it serves as a foundation for a husband to treat his wife with compassion, sensitivity, and patience.
A husband devotes himself to his wife because he realizes she is to be honored just for being his wife.
Psalm 103:6
The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.
Psalm 103:6 (ESV)
Abuse violates God’s covenantal design for marriage, and Scripture does not require an abused wife to remain married to an abuser.
Thus, the body of Christ is called to model God’s compassion toward abused women through effective strategies designed to meet the needs of women attempting to leave abusive relationships.
God despises and condemns aggressive action, which is evidence of sin and brings God’s punishment.
The Bible confirms that God has compassion for the afflicted. God is a rock, refuge, shield, horn of salvation, and rescuer who delivered David from the clutches of violence (2 Samuel 22:3).
God’s compassion obligates the body of Christ to respond compassionately to the needs arising from abuse. As a result, abused victims can rehabilitate and rebuild their lives.
2 Corinthians 6:14
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?
2 Corinthians 6:14 (ESV)
To avoid pain, Christians should avoid aligning their lives with someone who is not a Christian. 2 Corinthians 6:14.
It is preferable to end a relationship with someone unwilling to pursue faith than to marry in the hopes that they may change. Short-term heartbreak is preferable to long-term frustration.
Unequally yoked marriages are not always avoidable. Sometimes the mismatched faith dynamic occurs without our control. After marriage vows have been exchanged and agreements made, one partner abandons or returns to faith.
How will you deal with the hardships of a mismatched marriage?
1. Pray for your spouse
2. Don’t nag
3. Seek unity
4. Seek a mentor
5. Live in grace
6. Know when to quit.
Ephesians 4:2
With all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
Ephesians 4:2 (ESV)
When God created marriage, He was undoubtedly thinking of the beauty of oneness. Nobody is flawless, and we all have terrible days and appreciate it when others are patient when we are not at our best.
We need to remember that difficult people are often hurting people. As a result, we should watch out for one another and provide more love and grace. We are to interact with others with a humble mindset, a pleasant disposition, and patience.
Cultivating these virtues helps us become more like Christ and bear with occasional others tricky. When tested under challenging circumstances with unpleasant people, such self-control demonstrates the strength of God’s love in us.
Colossians 3:19
Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Colossians 3:19 (ESV)
Biblical love focuses on what I must do for the other person. It can be willed, seen in deeds rather than feelings, and its goal is entirely different from the selfish goals of romantic love.
Commitment is the essential aspect of love, and self-sacrifice is the critical action. Bitterness grows when you dwell on your wife’s sins or flaws. The disappointment of missed expectations is at the root of it, and it manifests through intense rage.
Christian husbands should not subject their wives to harsh rule. You show your love for your wife by being gentle and considerate with her. Being the boss doesn’t give you the right to be cruel and dictatorial or to disregard her feelings.
The key to overcoming bitterness is to accept that neither your wife nor you are flawless, and she most likely has a list of disappointing expectations you did not meet! So you must get and love the wife you have, not the wife you wish you had.
Concentrate on her excellent characteristics and praise God for the wife He has given you. Accept her like you would like her to accept you (Rom. 15:7).
Conclusion
Abuse in marriage and how to handle it are two of the biggest challenges facing Christian married couples.
The Bible does not explicitly address the problem of domestic violence, but it does state that for a marriage to succeed, husbands and wives must respect, love, and be kind to one another.
I hope these Bible passages may encourage you to have a successful marriage rather than just one that survives.
