Separation and divorce are now almost the norms of the day, and Christians are not left out. It could be exceedingly hurtful to one or both partners and bad for the kids.
And the following research is not helping matters: According to wf-lawyers, more than 40 percent of all first-time marriages always end in divorce, and close to 50 percent of all marriages will end in separation or divorce.
You might have been praying for God to restore your marriage for a long time, and it seems to be a distant wish.
So the question is, will God restore a broken marriage?
Should you keep praying for that marriage to be restored, or are you just beating on a dead horse?
In this post, we will cover;
- Can God Restore A Broken Marriage?
- How do you let go and let God fix your marriage?
- What Does The Bible Say About Marriage Restoration?
- When To Stop Praying For Marriage Restoration
- Biblical Advice For Marriage Problems, and much more.
So without wasting more time, let’s dive in.
What Does The Bible Say About Marriage Restoration
God has always been a big fan of marriage. He initiated the first marriage starting from Adam and Eve, declared that couples are now one in the flesh, and “What He(God) has joined together, let no one separate (divorce or breakup).”
Has not the one God made you? You belong to him in body and spirit. And what does the one God seek? Godly offspring.[a] So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth.
~ Malachi 2:15
Also, in Malachi 2:15, God made it clear that he has unionized the spirit of a man and woman married to each other so they could bear godly offspring.
And ” let no one be faithless to the wife (or spouse) of their youth.”
This shows that God is against anything that can lead to breakup, separation, or divorce. And just like our health, finances, and opportunities, God wants us to recover all we have lost.
Then you may ask why it seems like God cannot save my marriage. Is it against his will, or is it something he cannot do?
How do you let go and let God fix your marriage?
The first thing I tell them is that it’s not your job to fix your marriage. It’s God’s job. If you are unhappy in your marriage, then you need to remind yourself that it is not your fault. You did not cause this problem or break down your marriage. Your spouse did.
When we blame ourselves for our spouse’s behavior or actions, we become emotionally insecure because we believe that we are somehow responsible for the problem getting worse or staying bad.
No matter how hard we try, if our spouse does not want help then nothing will change. The only person who can change another person’s behavior is themself.
Can God Restore A Broken Marriage?
God will only restore a broken marriage if it is good for you and will not destroy his better plans for your life.
Restoration is not a difficult thing for God to do. After all, Jeremiah 32:27 says, “I am the LORD, the God of all flesh, is there anything too hard for me? (he asked)“.
You should know that it is God’s will to see you happy, both now and in the future. If restoring your marriage does that for you, he shall answer your prayers.
However, not everything we think is right for us is genuinely so. So can God restore your broken marriage? Yes, God can restore your broken marriage. But only if it’s his plan for you.
When Should You Stop Praying For Marriage Restoration?
Now we’ve cleared that;
- God is not happy that you are separated from your spouse.
- He has the power to restore your marriage.
- He will only do it if it’s the right thing.
But we have to know when to stop praying for marriage restoration.
If we keep praying to God to restore our marriage, which seems not to come through, then we might be praying amiss.
“…You ask, and receive not (the restoration of your marriage) because you ask amiss….” James 4:3.
The following are five signals we should stop praying for marriage restoration.
1. You Keep Separating and Reconciling
How many times have you been married again to the same person?
Today you reconcile your differences, and tomorrow it’s the same story – “We have to break up!”.
Maybe that person is not for you. Perhaps you shouldn’t have been in that marriage in the first place.
The relationship probably isn’t meant to be.
When you keep separating, it’s a big red flag.
- That marriage was never God’s Plan. 1 Corinthians 14:33 makes us understand that God is not an “author of confusion.”
- If your partner is for you, you wouldn’t doubt it, and God will always give you the strength to tolerate one another.
- You Are Risking Emotional Stress. And this is not something God wants for you.
God will not let you be married to someone you cannot keep loving, and she certainly won’t answer your prayer to come back (and break up later.
So stop the prayer.
2. Your Love for Each Other Has Dwindled
You have to ask yourself, ” Do you love your ex-partner, or do you want to get back because of the stigma of divorce and separation?
Marriage is for life, and it will be a great temptation to live with someone you don’t love.
You’ll have to force yourself to care, smile, be happy, and feel free. How will you handle the inevitable offenses?
Do you want to break up again? It’s A good thing you are no longer together.
“… God will or suffer you to be tempted (in a marriage without love) above what you can bear”.
~ 1 Corinthians 10:13.
Please make it easy for God, your ex-partner, and yourself by stopping to pray for restoration.
Understand that you don’t need it.
3. Your Marriage was Toxic
Toxicity in marriage can lead to all for of evil, even death, and suicide.
You don’t need an abuser for a partner.
If your husband is a woman beater or your wife is very verbally abusive, separation is best left that way.
Would you or to go back to a torture room? Would you still want to go back to a nagging wife?
The Bible says, “ It is better to live in the desert (alone, separated), than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.” Proverbs 21:19.
If you separate yourself from a toxic marriage, it’s best for your health and spiritual life.
So stop praying to return.
4. Your Partner Is Not Willing To Put Any Effort Into Reconciliation
Your partner no longer wants to be with you.
They have refused to go for counseling, refusing advice, and are not even ready to keep the marriage no matter what.
If you get back with a partner like this, the marriage will still not work. For “... Contempt kills” things (Proverbs 19:16).
A negligent partner might weaken your relationship with God. You will have to spend all your time and emotions trying to get them to fix themselves.
Depending on the level of grace you have to bear this temptation, it’s better to stop praying for restoration.
God will never manipulate your partner’s will, and he has the free choice to choose.
5. Your Ex-partner is Now (legally) Married To Someone
This one is a no-brainer.
If your partner is married to another person, they are no longer interested in you.
They’ve moved on, and you have to love on as well. So please don’t be too harsh on yourself.
You deserve peace of mind, God still loves you so much, and you can always find solace in him.
Your ex-partner will not leave his current marriage to reconcile with you.
It’s time to let go and let God.
Conclusion
A breakup, divorce, separation, etc., are very hurtful mentally, financially, socially, health-wise, and even to the kids.
God can help fix this trauma because our joy is his priority.
However, sometimes you need marriage, and the union doesn’t require you.
All you have to do is open your eyes, look out for the signs, and you’ll realize that your should stop praying for marriage restoration.
Shalom.
